Lessons on Life Series 2: Surrender

The next lesson for discussion today is that of: Surrender.

Many of us labor under the illusion that control is always good and that it would be dangerous for us to let the "universe" take care of things. It may be difficult to find the lesson in a difficult situation; we may wonder why it's happening. But, there is often no other way for the universe to heal us except to present us with tough situations. Try to see it as "what is" rather than what is "bad". None of us really knows why events happen in our lives. The problem is that we think we should know, but living requires humility, for life is a mystery. All will be revealed in its own time.

How do we surrender to "what is" and stop fighting? We simply "let go". We learn to trust in God, in the universe, as we begin for the first time in our lives, to relax. In letting go, we release mental pictures of how things should turn out and accept what the universe brings us. We accept that we don't always know what is in our best interest. Those times when we thought we absolutely knew what was best, we were wrestling with illusions.

To surrender, is to simply rise everyday and say "thy will" not "my will". You can have plans and a working blueprint. But, there will be changes, paths I didn't expect. Wonderful surprises and scary surprises. There will be situations that lead me on new journeys. I trust that all this will lead me in a direction that will bring my being, my soul, to its greatest unfolding.

We have all become so very controlling. We have forgotten what it's like to be students and to sit at the feet of others. We don't know how to receive other ideas and experiences, even if only for a brief while.

Refusing to accept situations we cannot change exhausts us, strips us of our power and peace of mind. We take back our power and regain peace of mind when we let things be as they are. We are in effect saying, "I am going to be happy right now". "I'm not going to put it off". Refusing to surrender, is the same as saying,"I can't be happy until these conditions change". Surrendering into life as it is can be the quickest and most powerful way to get the lesson out of the situation.

Colleen Montgomery is an individual and couples therapist in Severna Park, MD which is also close to Millersville, Pasadena and Annapolis. Sacred Cove Counseling is located at 821 W Benfield Road. We specialize in marriage counseling and counseling for anxiety and depression issues.

Reference:
Life Lessons by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Scribner 2000.

I dedicate this blog today to my sister Amy and my niece, Lilly to whom I wish a Happy 4th Birthday.