Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Stay Healthy & Happy by Keeping a Clean Energy Field

Healthy and Happy by Keeping a Clean Energy Field

Our energy fields are invisible and electrical in nature in that others can feel if we are balanced and in sync. Your energy field is affected by many things including the food you eat, what you drink, and your thoughts and feelings. You play a huge role in keeping your energy field clean and if you are not careful, you can allow your energy field to become contaminated by lower energy fields from others. When you allow yourself to spend time with people who are not harmonious and bring love forth, this becomes a risk for contamination to your energy field and keeps you trapped in problems.

You can do the following things to keep your energy field clean and be a happier person.
First, treat your body with love and cleanse it of all junk. Drink pure water and eat whole foods. Get peaceful rest, exercise, and meditate.
Second, clean up your thoughts and let go of ego and the need to be "right". Practice the spiritual principles of love, kindness, connectedness, cheerfulness and gratitude. The more you practice these principles the closer you will feel to God and your energy field will feel clean.

Keep in mind that when you find happiness that other people may be jealous and try to bring you down. Be happy anyway and choose your highest self in all circumstances. Go into situations gold and come out gold. You will feel good knowing how you are acting regardless of how others choose to respond. Detach from other's opinions and behavior and know how you have chosen to follow your path and keep a clean energy field.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Age With An Attitude

70% of aging is how you manage your life with what you eat, exercise, how you stimulate your brain and how involved you are with other people.
Nothing ages a person faster than a negative attitude so pay attention to where you direct your energy.
Here are the best 10 anti-agers:
1. Eat whole foods
2. Move!
3. Lift heavy
4. Touch & be touched
5. Socialize
6. Think positive
7. Help others
8. Live in the present moment
9. Imagine peaceful scenes
10. Breathe, sometimes deeply and then let it out

What is the Difference Between Being Alone and Being Lonely?

Many people think that if they live alone and are not paired in a couple that this makes them lonely. However, research shows that there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness has little to do with whether a person is single or coupled. Many people who are married or coupled are still lonely, while many single people are not. Instead, people feel lonely when they lack emotional connections with others. For example, a single woman may have one or more good friends whom she talks to and spends time with who are like her, are concerned for her and interested in her well-being. While she may not be in a romantic relationship, she may feel connected and cared about and may feel content.

Another person may be in a committed relationship with a partner but not feel emotionally close, truly supported or even respected by that person. If this person does not have others in their life that provide for these needs, they experience a sense of loneliness even though they are coupled. Thus, it is not the coupled state of the person that helps with the absence of loneliness, but rather the presence of a close, trustworthy, emotionally supportive person in one's life.

There are 5 levels of emotional closeness and communication:

Level 1- Surface level- talking superficially about general topics. ex) Isn't it nice weather?
Level 2- Factual level- share facts about situations. ex)I have been having trouble with my car.
Level 3- Cognitive level- share our opinions and ideas about the world. We must trust that the other person will respect our opinions & ideas to communicate at this level.
Level 4- Feeling level- this level of communicating requires that we reveal who we really are, our dreams & disappointments,& how we truly feel about ourselves. We are vulnerable to the listener because we open up our inner selves but this also helps us to experience intimacy if we can trust the listener. In order to truly communicate at this level, we must feel "safe" with the person we are speaking to; we must feel respected, accepted and free from threatening repercussions. The ability to share at this level is the beginning of true intimacy and the inability to share at this level prevents intimacy from occurring. Only when both individuals feel comfortable sharing at this level, does the level 4 style of communication exist.
Level 5- Intimacy level- at this level, we are able to share our deepest feelings, concerns, most embarrassing moments, and our pain without any fear of reprisal; we feel fully accepted and loved by the other. We can talk about positive things in our life without fear that others will judge us as boasting. We are free to say whatever is on our mind, knowing that we will continue to be loved and accepted. This level of communication can only be achieved through a growing and abiding trust that has developed over time between two mature individuals. This level 5 "relationship" requires reciprocity; it is difficult to achieve and requires loving care to maintain. Few people ever achieve such a relationship in their lifetime, mostly because few people are willing to devote the time and energy necessary to develop and maintain such a deep relationship. Those with low self-esteem may have never experienced this type of emotional connection with another so they may not even recognize the intrinsic value or existence of this level of communication.

People who presently have a true and reciprocal level four or five relationship do not feel lonely, though they may have experienced loneliness in the past or again in the future. This level 5 relationship can occur between same sex relationships or opposite sex, however, it occurs more frequently in relationships between 2 women. Women, in general, place a higher priority on relationships and communication than men do.

Healthy relationships are ones in which both people are healthy individuals, with interests, goals, friends, activities, and a sense of worth from themselves. In a healthy relationship, both people want the best for themselves and the other person. They truly respect each other and trust each other. They support and encourage each other, yet they maintain their own unique personalities and individuality. They do not try to control nor do they compete. Healthy people form relationships in which there exists mutual respect, a willingness to negotiate fairly, sensitivity to the needs of both partners, a desire and willingness to regularly nurture and work on the relationship. They are people who are supportive, caring, encouraging, cooperative, interesting, communicative, assertive and open to change. Their relationships are fulfilling, though not all encompassing in their lives.

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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Healthier Relationships Improve Your Health

Why are most bookstores including coffee bars? Because people want to connect with others and are aware of the aloneness that has been created from a mobile society. Many people are admitting to lack of relational connectedness and meaning in life. The common solution that many choose is to keep busy and stimulate themselves with a variety of new experiences. This helps keep feelings of loneliness at bay for a time period, but eventually there is an inner despair.

Positive relationships are important for our mental, physical and spiritual health and a great body of research is proving this. People who are lacking in relationships devoid of love and caring are highly likely to have lower levels of health.

The good news is that developing and enhancing friendships will reduce loneliness and improve your overall health. You don't need a large group of friends as even one or two very close friends who share interest and affection can do the trick. Involve yourself in groups or talk to your pastor, counselor, community resources for ideas about clubs to join. Don't expect your friends to do all the giving. The more you give to your friends and groups, the more you will get in return.

Please visit my website at:

I am currently offering 3 groups in October through December:
A Women's Weight Loss Group
A Women's Wellness Group
An Intensive Couples Group: Heal Your Marriage and Relationship

Please e-mail me at: for further information.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Recreate Yourself

There is very little in life that you are experiencing for the first time. There are new conditions or circumstances that stimulate the emotional experience that you are having. These are usually variations of a theme in your life. They are triggers that remind you of a previous experience and invite you in to react emotionally. They literally invite you to "re-act" or "act again" as you did before.

When this happens, it is the lower part of our brain that does not differentiate between this experience and a past experience. It can not separate moments from other moments or one person from another. For instance, a parent may have said something that hurt you as a child. Because the parent was a person whom you sought the most approval, now today, when your spouse says the same kind of thing, your lower brain is your parent talking.

Because you may have held your emotions back for a long time, your reaction may be way out of proportion to the "offense" that occurred. When things calm down, you may wonder where all of the anger came from. It came from your flight or fight response and sent you into self survival mode.

Masters refuse this invitation. Come into each moment as if it were the first time and consciously choose how you feel. Raise your consciousness and use your higher brain to distance your inner truth from your outer reality.

In this way, you can recreate yourself by consciously staying present in the moment and deciding how to feel about something and choosing to express any feeling you are having.

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Friday, October 2, 2009

What People Need Today

Many people today are looking for something that is lacking for a large part in our society today. People are so caught up in "doing" and being busy that little time is left to truly connect in a meaningful way with others. Many people come to counseling because they feel "lost" and empty inside. Upon a look into their family of origin, it can often be found that there was a lack of emotional warmth. Children need to feel safe, connected and feel that they are cared about and loved. When these things are missing, people often struggle as adults with depression and anxiety.

How can you experience emotional warmth if it is not something that is provided for in your family? You can watch others who extend warmth and kindness to you and absorb those good feelings. You can then try to give this to others in kind acts, generosity, gentleness of response to others and tone of voice. When you give to others what you would like to receive, it comes back to you in other ways. Allow the times that you are treated with nurturance to fill your soul and spirit in the present moment. Visualize these moments of warmth like a hot cup of cocoa or a burning fire when you are feeling lonely or the coldness of the world.

Hopefully over time if more people fill other's cups with a warm, nurturing drink the world will become filled with more people showing love and kindness. Less people would feel lonely and alone and enjoy the comfort of others caring.