The next lesson for discussion today is that of: Surrender.
Many of us labor under the illusion that control is always good and that it would be dangerous for us to let the "universe" take care of things. It may be difficult to find the lesson in a difficult situation; we may wonder why it's happening. But, there is often no other way for the universe to heal us except to present us with tough situations. Try to see it as "what is" rather than what is "bad". None of us really knows why events happen in our lives. The problem is that we think we should know, but living requires humility, for life is a mystery. All will be revealed in its own time.
How do we surrender to "what is" and stop fighting? We simply "let go". We learn to trust in God, in the universe, as we begin for the first time in our lives, to relax. In letting go, we release mental pictures of how things should turn out and accept what the universe brings us. We accept that we don't always know what is in our best interest. Those times when we thought we absolutely knew what was best, we were wrestling with illusions.
To surrender, is to simply rise everyday and say "thy will" not "my will". You can have plans and a working blueprint. But, there will be changes, paths I didn't expect. Wonderful surprises and scary surprises. There will be situations that lead me on new journeys. I trust that all this will lead me in a direction that will bring my being, my soul, to its greatest unfolding.
We have all become so very controlling. We have forgotten what it's like to be students and to sit at the feet of others. We don't know how to receive other ideas and experiences, even if only for a brief while.
Refusing to accept situations we cannot change exhausts us, strips us of our power and peace of mind. We take back our power and regain peace of mind when we let things be as they are. We are in effect saying, "I am going to be happy right now". "I'm not going to put it off". Refusing to surrender, is the same as saying,"I can't be happy until these conditions change". Surrendering into life as it is can be the quickest and most powerful way to get the lesson out of the situation.
Colleen Montgomery is an individual and couples therapist in Severna Park, MD which is also close to Millersville, Pasadena and Annapolis. Sacred Cove Counseling is located at 821 W Benfield Road. We specialize in marriage counseling and counseling for anxiety and depression issues.
Reference:
Life Lessons by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Scribner 2000.
I dedicate this blog today to my sister Amy and my niece, Lilly to whom I wish a Happy 4th Birthday.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Lessons on Life
It has been said that there are many lessons on life that we are to learn before passing. Some of these lessons include: authenticity, loss, love, patience, play, power and forgiveness amongst many more. Today, lets talk a bit about the lesson of loss.
Loss is a major part of our life school. Many of us resist loss through out our lives not understanding that loss is life and life is loss and we cannot grow without loss. There are 5 stages that people experience in a loss in life: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Whatever you are feeling when you lose someone or something is exactly what you are supposed to be feeling. It is never our place to tell someone else that they are grieving too long. The feelings we go through such as feeling empty, helpless, immobilized, paralyzed, worthless, angry, sad and fearful are all part of the healing process. Perhaps the only certainty about loss is that time does heal this.
In life, we long for wholeness and we hope that we can keep people and things just as they are, but we can't. Loss is one of our most difficult lessons of life. We try to make it easier, even romanticize it, yet the pain of separation from someone or something we care about is one of the hardest things we will ever experience. There is no loss without growth which is perhaps why we are always struck by it.
There are some common clear lessons that have come from people who have technically been dead but were brought back to life. First, they are no longer afraid of death. Second, they know that death is only the shedding of a physical body. Third, they remember having a profound sense of feeling wholeness in death, of being connected to everything and everyone and feeling no sense of loss. Lastly, they report that they were never alone, that someone was with them.
We experience our losses in our own time and in our own ways. We are given beautiful grace in denial. We sometimes mourn for those who have cared for us the way they should have. We also mourn for those who did not give us the love we deserved. If we have been hurt by a loss, we may find ways to protect ourselves against loss: we detach, we deny, we help others with hurts so we don't have to face our own, and we might become so self-sufficient that we will never need anyone. We will subconsciously put ourselves in situations that remind us of our original losses so we can heal. If you wonder why you seems to keep meeting people who abandon you, it may be the universe sending you people and situations to help heal your loss. But sometimes the lesson in healing an old loss is in realizing that we can't prevent new losses. By guarding against loss, we incur loss. We ensure we don't lose people by keeping them at a distance, but that is loss in itself.
Even within our deepest sense of loss, we know that life continues. Despite all the losses and endings that may be bombarding you, new beginnings are all around. In the midst of pain, loss may seem to be never ending, yet the cycle of life exists all around us.
Colleen Montgomery is an individual and couples therapist in Severna Park MD. Sacred Cove Counseling is located at: 821 W Benfield Rd. Severna Park, MD 21146. She can be reached at 410-336-4950 to set up an appointment for marriage counseling, individual counseling for issues such as anxiety, depression, grief, and relationship issues.
Reference:
Life Lessons by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler,Schribner, 2000.
Loss is a major part of our life school. Many of us resist loss through out our lives not understanding that loss is life and life is loss and we cannot grow without loss. There are 5 stages that people experience in a loss in life: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Whatever you are feeling when you lose someone or something is exactly what you are supposed to be feeling. It is never our place to tell someone else that they are grieving too long. The feelings we go through such as feeling empty, helpless, immobilized, paralyzed, worthless, angry, sad and fearful are all part of the healing process. Perhaps the only certainty about loss is that time does heal this.
In life, we long for wholeness and we hope that we can keep people and things just as they are, but we can't. Loss is one of our most difficult lessons of life. We try to make it easier, even romanticize it, yet the pain of separation from someone or something we care about is one of the hardest things we will ever experience. There is no loss without growth which is perhaps why we are always struck by it.
There are some common clear lessons that have come from people who have technically been dead but were brought back to life. First, they are no longer afraid of death. Second, they know that death is only the shedding of a physical body. Third, they remember having a profound sense of feeling wholeness in death, of being connected to everything and everyone and feeling no sense of loss. Lastly, they report that they were never alone, that someone was with them.
We experience our losses in our own time and in our own ways. We are given beautiful grace in denial. We sometimes mourn for those who have cared for us the way they should have. We also mourn for those who did not give us the love we deserved. If we have been hurt by a loss, we may find ways to protect ourselves against loss: we detach, we deny, we help others with hurts so we don't have to face our own, and we might become so self-sufficient that we will never need anyone. We will subconsciously put ourselves in situations that remind us of our original losses so we can heal. If you wonder why you seems to keep meeting people who abandon you, it may be the universe sending you people and situations to help heal your loss. But sometimes the lesson in healing an old loss is in realizing that we can't prevent new losses. By guarding against loss, we incur loss. We ensure we don't lose people by keeping them at a distance, but that is loss in itself.
Even within our deepest sense of loss, we know that life continues. Despite all the losses and endings that may be bombarding you, new beginnings are all around. In the midst of pain, loss may seem to be never ending, yet the cycle of life exists all around us.
Colleen Montgomery is an individual and couples therapist in Severna Park MD. Sacred Cove Counseling is located at: 821 W Benfield Rd. Severna Park, MD 21146. She can be reached at 410-336-4950 to set up an appointment for marriage counseling, individual counseling for issues such as anxiety, depression, grief, and relationship issues.
Reference:
Life Lessons by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler,Schribner, 2000.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Caring Relationships
In my practice of working with couples and individuals, I observe many relationships that have struggles. Most of us do not go through life without some relationships that are challenging. What are some things that I observe that seem to be a roadblock to improving difficult relationships? The biggest challenge seems to be ego. Many people are caught up in feeling that they need to "defend themselves" to the end. When one person in the relationship voices a concern, the other person is often quick to try to turn it around on that person instead of hearing and listening to what that person is saying. It is important to hear that person and their feelings and respond with care to their concerns first. People often just need to feel acknowledged for their feelings. A mature individual in a relationship is able to say "I'm sorry, I hear you & we can work toward making that better". Unfortunately many people allow their ego to stand in the way of doing this and unconsciously feel if they apologize that they are "admitting that they are a bad person". They do not understand that this is not about being "bad" or being "wrong" but about being caring toward another and trying to resolve a relational issue. No one is perfect so it is okay to say "I'm sorry" so that things can heal in a relationship. These seem like such simple words but for some that lack spiritual maturity, they are just so difficult.
What else can be done in all relationships to help them be healthy and fulfilling?
It is important for all people in relationships to practice these things:
1. Gentle, kind interactions toward one another.
2. Being open to voiced concerns through out the relationship and an attitude of wanting to hear the other and resolve things. Easily saying "I'm sorry".
3. Showing that you care by having a "two way relationship". A two way relationship is when both people call one another, communicate honestly and kindly, both arrange time to spend together, acknowledge and validate each other's life experiences and express your fondness of one another through words and small tokens of affection.
4. Recognize that all people have challenging times in life and they may need you more during those times. Try to be understanding and steady.
5. Practice the gift of being fully present for yourself and others when in a relationship. What is worse than going to spend time with a loved one that you infrequently see and they are "tuned out"? Maybe they are watching tv and are not engaged in a meaningful way. True presence increases love and compassion. Simply by being attentively and openheartedly present- whether to yourself, work, family or others, more love is added to the fabric of life. And...love is the answer, no matter what the question.
6. Openess and accessibility are qualities of a quiet mind. We are naturally drawn to people who are open with us and are interested in us. Those whose ideas and emotions are accessible and readily expressed. This allows us to feel like we can genuinely connect with others. Meaningul connections are a lovely life experience.
Remember to practice mindfulness with yourself and in all relationships. Attention is an invaluable gift to give.
Colleen Montgomery is an individual and couples therapist in Severna Park, Maryland. Her office is at 821 W. Benfield Road, suite 10. She continues to feel blessed by the clients she works with to develop more caring relationships.
What else can be done in all relationships to help them be healthy and fulfilling?
It is important for all people in relationships to practice these things:
1. Gentle, kind interactions toward one another.
2. Being open to voiced concerns through out the relationship and an attitude of wanting to hear the other and resolve things. Easily saying "I'm sorry".
3. Showing that you care by having a "two way relationship". A two way relationship is when both people call one another, communicate honestly and kindly, both arrange time to spend together, acknowledge and validate each other's life experiences and express your fondness of one another through words and small tokens of affection.
4. Recognize that all people have challenging times in life and they may need you more during those times. Try to be understanding and steady.
5. Practice the gift of being fully present for yourself and others when in a relationship. What is worse than going to spend time with a loved one that you infrequently see and they are "tuned out"? Maybe they are watching tv and are not engaged in a meaningful way. True presence increases love and compassion. Simply by being attentively and openheartedly present- whether to yourself, work, family or others, more love is added to the fabric of life. And...love is the answer, no matter what the question.
6. Openess and accessibility are qualities of a quiet mind. We are naturally drawn to people who are open with us and are interested in us. Those whose ideas and emotions are accessible and readily expressed. This allows us to feel like we can genuinely connect with others. Meaningul connections are a lovely life experience.
Remember to practice mindfulness with yourself and in all relationships. Attention is an invaluable gift to give.
Colleen Montgomery is an individual and couples therapist in Severna Park, Maryland. Her office is at 821 W. Benfield Road, suite 10. She continues to feel blessed by the clients she works with to develop more caring relationships.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Passionate Marriage in Our Society
In the end, all we have to offer each other is emotional commitment as we share our lives. Marriage is a system that is full of intricacies and wonder for personal growth.
Loving is not for the weak, nor for those who have to be carefully kept, nor for the faint of heart. That's why there is so little of it in the world. Love requires being steadfast through many difficulties. If our society ever tolerates a realistic view of marriage, we will be less cavalier about encouraging people to love and want each other. The end result of loving a cherished long-term partner is grief few of us are prepared to handle. Many of us would rather bury a "pain" than risk pain in our heart. A "pain" is easier to love less, so the loss won't be too great when he or she dies.
The biggest trust issue in marriage isn't about trusting your partner. It's about whether or not you can really trust yourself. The better your partner, the better your ability to soothe and console yourself needs to be. People find in their minds it is "not safe" to love their partner more than they can self-soothe if you need them to "be there for you". Your partner will not "be there for you" to hold your hand through their death. You'll go through that alone. The increasing vulnerability that arises from your partner becoming more important to you makes a passionate marriage daunting. Many people feel they can not trust themselves with this enormous risk.
Critical points mark the turning point in your connection with your spouse. It either shifts you from emotional fusion or greater differentiation. When couples use critical points wisely, there is an intense sense of intimacy, yet the future remains unknown. It is not always easy to continue to sail in the same direction through critical points with the intensity of the issues and the amount of self-soothing required. However, showing yourself as a peaceful vessel rather than a person of war can be an act of integrity.
Some things that can help with fusion during critical/stressful points in a marriage are:
Repair the positive connection with your partner by sending positive signals. Most couples have their own code.
Pay attention to your partner's attempts at repair and do not take them for granted.
Be willing to make the first move by pulling out of discussions that are going nowhere by making overtures to get back together.
Remember that monogamy shifts as your own differentiation increases from being a promise to your partner to one you make to yourself.
Remember that sometimes your partner can not "be there for you" in the sense that you desire as they may be having trouble regulating their own anxieties in times of discord. Taking care of yourself at critical/stressful points is important for you and a kindness to your partner. Poorly differentiated people do hurtful things when their anxiety goes up. This is why it is important to not let your partner "hurt you" in the sense that it is more important to remember that they may be reflecting their own anxieties. If you are well cared for mentally, you will be able to differentiate this and not expect your partner to take care of you. "Being there" for your partner in the positive sense is great if you can do it as it is the essence of true mutuality but we can not always expect it in return.
Life presents us with the choice of getting what we want, but not the way we might want it. It's disquieting when long-sought improvements occur in ways we don't anticipate. We are challenged to give up cherished notions that keep us stuck. Giving up fusion fantasies isn't easy. Our desire to merge and relinquish personal responsibility dies a slow death but there's no peace until it does.
The other side of the looking glass- the passionate marriage.
The most lasting "we-ness" often comes after a critical point, not before. The "we-ness" gained from experiences in the growth cycle, examining your self and your marriage, fosters further growth. Monogamy operates on a different level feeling like an ongoing commitment. Couples schedule time together because they want to be together and they protect this from the invasion of other demands. They address issues as they arise rather than waiting for things to feel intolerable. There is a stability that transcends day to day ups and downs.
You begin to allow your partner to influence you which creates new options and de-escalates fights. Feeling that you have influence in your relationship, reduces the urge to criticize or withdraw. When partners try to influence each other on issues about which they disagree, they do so in a straightforward manner that is softened with playful persuasion. People relax. Their facial features soften and their body tension melts. They touch more frequently and easily, leaning into each other for contact when sitting close. They no longer fear that straight talk will become adversarial. They have the comfort that comes in knowing that both of them can stand on their own two feet. Respect develops from watching their partner master himself or herself and maintain integrity during the critical points. It is a respect that includes rueful admiration that partners won't knuckle under to each other or their own anxieties. Respect makes partners willing to give each other the benefit of doubt in times of misunderstanding.
In marriage you can expect many blisters along the path to bliss. Hold out through this nerve-racking process and you can find the 'passionate marriage'.
Excerpts from this article are taken from the work of David Schnarch.
Colleen Montgomery is a well-known Individual and Couples Therapist in Severna Park, Maryland. Her office is located at 821 W. Benfield Road in Severna Park. Colleen specializes in Marriage Counseling and feels passionate about helping couples. It has been an honor to have couples share their struggles and victories as they grow individually and together as a couple.
Soon to be released, Joyful Marriage will share experiences and techniques to find true happiness within marriage.
You can reach Colleen at 410-336-4950 to set up an appointment for counseling.
Reference:
Schnarch, David, Passionate Marriage, Henry Holt Publishing, 1997.
Loving is not for the weak, nor for those who have to be carefully kept, nor for the faint of heart. That's why there is so little of it in the world. Love requires being steadfast through many difficulties. If our society ever tolerates a realistic view of marriage, we will be less cavalier about encouraging people to love and want each other. The end result of loving a cherished long-term partner is grief few of us are prepared to handle. Many of us would rather bury a "pain" than risk pain in our heart. A "pain" is easier to love less, so the loss won't be too great when he or she dies.
The biggest trust issue in marriage isn't about trusting your partner. It's about whether or not you can really trust yourself. The better your partner, the better your ability to soothe and console yourself needs to be. People find in their minds it is "not safe" to love their partner more than they can self-soothe if you need them to "be there for you". Your partner will not "be there for you" to hold your hand through their death. You'll go through that alone. The increasing vulnerability that arises from your partner becoming more important to you makes a passionate marriage daunting. Many people feel they can not trust themselves with this enormous risk.
Critical points mark the turning point in your connection with your spouse. It either shifts you from emotional fusion or greater differentiation. When couples use critical points wisely, there is an intense sense of intimacy, yet the future remains unknown. It is not always easy to continue to sail in the same direction through critical points with the intensity of the issues and the amount of self-soothing required. However, showing yourself as a peaceful vessel rather than a person of war can be an act of integrity.
Some things that can help with fusion during critical/stressful points in a marriage are:
Repair the positive connection with your partner by sending positive signals. Most couples have their own code.
Pay attention to your partner's attempts at repair and do not take them for granted.
Be willing to make the first move by pulling out of discussions that are going nowhere by making overtures to get back together.
Remember that monogamy shifts as your own differentiation increases from being a promise to your partner to one you make to yourself.
Remember that sometimes your partner can not "be there for you" in the sense that you desire as they may be having trouble regulating their own anxieties in times of discord. Taking care of yourself at critical/stressful points is important for you and a kindness to your partner. Poorly differentiated people do hurtful things when their anxiety goes up. This is why it is important to not let your partner "hurt you" in the sense that it is more important to remember that they may be reflecting their own anxieties. If you are well cared for mentally, you will be able to differentiate this and not expect your partner to take care of you. "Being there" for your partner in the positive sense is great if you can do it as it is the essence of true mutuality but we can not always expect it in return.
Life presents us with the choice of getting what we want, but not the way we might want it. It's disquieting when long-sought improvements occur in ways we don't anticipate. We are challenged to give up cherished notions that keep us stuck. Giving up fusion fantasies isn't easy. Our desire to merge and relinquish personal responsibility dies a slow death but there's no peace until it does.
The other side of the looking glass- the passionate marriage.
The most lasting "we-ness" often comes after a critical point, not before. The "we-ness" gained from experiences in the growth cycle, examining your self and your marriage, fosters further growth. Monogamy operates on a different level feeling like an ongoing commitment. Couples schedule time together because they want to be together and they protect this from the invasion of other demands. They address issues as they arise rather than waiting for things to feel intolerable. There is a stability that transcends day to day ups and downs.
You begin to allow your partner to influence you which creates new options and de-escalates fights. Feeling that you have influence in your relationship, reduces the urge to criticize or withdraw. When partners try to influence each other on issues about which they disagree, they do so in a straightforward manner that is softened with playful persuasion. People relax. Their facial features soften and their body tension melts. They touch more frequently and easily, leaning into each other for contact when sitting close. They no longer fear that straight talk will become adversarial. They have the comfort that comes in knowing that both of them can stand on their own two feet. Respect develops from watching their partner master himself or herself and maintain integrity during the critical points. It is a respect that includes rueful admiration that partners won't knuckle under to each other or their own anxieties. Respect makes partners willing to give each other the benefit of doubt in times of misunderstanding.
In marriage you can expect many blisters along the path to bliss. Hold out through this nerve-racking process and you can find the 'passionate marriage'.
Excerpts from this article are taken from the work of David Schnarch.
Colleen Montgomery is a well-known Individual and Couples Therapist in Severna Park, Maryland. Her office is located at 821 W. Benfield Road in Severna Park. Colleen specializes in Marriage Counseling and feels passionate about helping couples. It has been an honor to have couples share their struggles and victories as they grow individually and together as a couple.
Soon to be released, Joyful Marriage will share experiences and techniques to find true happiness within marriage.
You can reach Colleen at 410-336-4950 to set up an appointment for counseling.
Reference:
Schnarch, David, Passionate Marriage, Henry Holt Publishing, 1997.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Take the Big Leap
Have you ever wondered what is holding you back from taking the big leap in life that would take your life to the next level? Many people have hidden fears and anxieties that keep them from taking that next step to a more satisfying life.
Here are some important questions to ask yourself:
Where do I feel out of integrity with myself?
What is keeping me from feeling whole and complete?
What important feelings am I not letting into my awareness?
Where in my life am I not telling the full truth?
Almost all of us have a "story" that we tell ourselves about why we do not access our highest limits or "our genius". For example, we may have received messages from family that people who are successful are not nice people, etc.. As you allow yourself to discover these feelings, it will only take seconds to acknowledge feelings of sadness or fear. After acknowledging them, you can communicate a specific truth to another person and restore wholeness to a relationship that has felt incomplete for years. As you go through your discoveries, you will benefit from taking an attitude of wonder instead of blame. If you remain lighthearted about the fears that you discover instead of criticizing yourself then you will progress faster. When I maintain an attitude of cheerful wonder and keen interest in my faults and flaws, I see them dissolve and transform much more rapidly than when I give myself a hard time about them. If you're willing to adopt a playful attitude toward your shortcomings, you can make extraordinarily rapid progress.
Make a list of some behaviors that keep you from achieving your upper potential. Some of the most common ones are: worrying, blame & criticism, getting sick or hurt, squabbling, hiding significant feelings, not keeping agreements and not speaking relevant truths to relevant people and lastly deflecting(brushing off compliments). When you notice yourself doing one of the things on the upper limit list such as worrying, shift your attention to the real issue: expanding your capacity for abundance, love and success. Consciously let yourself make more room in your awareness for abundance, love & success. Use the resources of your whole being, not just your mind. For example, feel more love in your heart and chest area. Savor the body feeling as well as the mental satisfaction of success and abundance. Embrace a new story that shows you enjoying your life in full radiance of your expressed potential.
Reference:
Hendricks, Gay, The Big Leap, Harper Collins 2009.
Here are some important questions to ask yourself:
Where do I feel out of integrity with myself?
What is keeping me from feeling whole and complete?
What important feelings am I not letting into my awareness?
Where in my life am I not telling the full truth?
Almost all of us have a "story" that we tell ourselves about why we do not access our highest limits or "our genius". For example, we may have received messages from family that people who are successful are not nice people, etc.. As you allow yourself to discover these feelings, it will only take seconds to acknowledge feelings of sadness or fear. After acknowledging them, you can communicate a specific truth to another person and restore wholeness to a relationship that has felt incomplete for years. As you go through your discoveries, you will benefit from taking an attitude of wonder instead of blame. If you remain lighthearted about the fears that you discover instead of criticizing yourself then you will progress faster. When I maintain an attitude of cheerful wonder and keen interest in my faults and flaws, I see them dissolve and transform much more rapidly than when I give myself a hard time about them. If you're willing to adopt a playful attitude toward your shortcomings, you can make extraordinarily rapid progress.
Make a list of some behaviors that keep you from achieving your upper potential. Some of the most common ones are: worrying, blame & criticism, getting sick or hurt, squabbling, hiding significant feelings, not keeping agreements and not speaking relevant truths to relevant people and lastly deflecting(brushing off compliments). When you notice yourself doing one of the things on the upper limit list such as worrying, shift your attention to the real issue: expanding your capacity for abundance, love and success. Consciously let yourself make more room in your awareness for abundance, love & success. Use the resources of your whole being, not just your mind. For example, feel more love in your heart and chest area. Savor the body feeling as well as the mental satisfaction of success and abundance. Embrace a new story that shows you enjoying your life in full radiance of your expressed potential.
Reference:
Hendricks, Gay, The Big Leap, Harper Collins 2009.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Follow Your Passion
It is critical to follow your passion in life to be fully happy. I have found my passion in providing counseling services to others. I feel rewarded each day by providing such a valuable service to others. I recently met a fellow who also provides outstanding service to his clients as he is passionate about his work. A small business owner, John Devenny, owner of Triple J Painting in Pasadena, MD provided me with the kind of service that shows people still go the extra mile. John listened to the type of custom painting work that I wanted done, followed up to ensure that I was pleased with the work and did detailed, quality work. This phenomenal customer service reminded me that God puts people on the planet to make America beautiful in different ways. It is important to pray that God will lead you in providing a service to others that he designed you for so that you feel fulfilled and others feel your passion for your work. John Devenny, owner of Triple J Painting does custom interior and exterior painting, 2 part epoxy garage floors with art deco, fiberglass staining and finishing of front door systems. He can be reached at by email at johndevenny@comcast.net.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Passage of Enlightenment in the Second Part of Life
In philosophy, it is often discussed that the "second part of our lives" starts around age 50 and for some people it may be a bit earlier or later. During this later phase of our lives, it is important to examine our experiences in order to integrate them and align our priorities to serve what has meaning for us.
It is in this stage of life that personal reflection allows us to begin our journey to examine different gateways to mend our life before our final departure of immortality. Our task at the first gateway called the Renewal Gate is to move beyond the familiar and develop curiousity, trust and flexibility. As we age, many of us would rather stay in our comfort zones than grow to explore new experiences.
Here are some important questions to reflect upon at the Renewal Gate:
What generates meaning, curiousity and inspiration for you?
Where do you experience symptoms of soul loss: apathy, emptiness, discontent, anxiety?
What private longings have you repeatedly dismissed? What has kept you from acting on them?
How do you renew and replenish yourself?
What has been revealed about you through your dreams, work, health,& relationships?
Choose an area of your life that you would like to make a decision about and allow yourself to see a course of action that would create a positive change for yourself and others.
In my next article, I will discuss the Identity Gate which uncovers your true face. As we examine each gate and challenge ourselves, we develop further wisdom, character and meaning in our lives.
Reference:
Arrien,Angeles, The Second Half of Life, 2009.
It is in this stage of life that personal reflection allows us to begin our journey to examine different gateways to mend our life before our final departure of immortality. Our task at the first gateway called the Renewal Gate is to move beyond the familiar and develop curiousity, trust and flexibility. As we age, many of us would rather stay in our comfort zones than grow to explore new experiences.
Here are some important questions to reflect upon at the Renewal Gate:
What generates meaning, curiousity and inspiration for you?
Where do you experience symptoms of soul loss: apathy, emptiness, discontent, anxiety?
What private longings have you repeatedly dismissed? What has kept you from acting on them?
How do you renew and replenish yourself?
What has been revealed about you through your dreams, work, health,& relationships?
Choose an area of your life that you would like to make a decision about and allow yourself to see a course of action that would create a positive change for yourself and others.
In my next article, I will discuss the Identity Gate which uncovers your true face. As we examine each gate and challenge ourselves, we develop further wisdom, character and meaning in our lives.
Reference:
Arrien,Angeles, The Second Half of Life, 2009.
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