There is very little in life that you are experiencing for the first time. There are new conditions or circumstances that stimulate the emotional experience that you are having. These are usually variations of a theme in your life. They are triggers that remind you of a previous experience and invite you in to react emotionally. They literally invite you to "re-act" or "act again" as you did before.
When this happens, it is the lower part of our brain that does not differentiate between this experience and a past experience. It can not separate moments from other moments or one person from another. For instance, a parent may have said something that hurt you as a child. Because the parent was a person whom you sought the most approval, now today, when your spouse says the same kind of thing, your lower brain is your parent talking.
Because you may have held your emotions back for a long time, your reaction may be way out of proportion to the "offense" that occurred. When things calm down, you may wonder where all of the anger came from. It came from your flight or fight response and sent you into self survival mode.
Masters refuse this invitation. Come into each moment as if it were the first time and consciously choose how you feel. Raise your consciousness and use your higher brain to distance your inner truth from your outer reality.
In this way, you can recreate yourself by consciously staying present in the moment and deciding how to feel about something and choosing to express any feeling you are having.
Please visit my website at: www.sacredcovecounseling.com